Category Archive: Performance

Beginning Dubstep

I’ve really been getting into Dubstep lately, so much so that I’ve tried my own hand at composing it.  I started a blog called Bad Raindrop (my “band” name) to track my progress.  Hopefully I’ll get better at it over time.  Dubstep is synth music identified by shuffled reggae-influenced beats, deep sub-bass, low-frequency oscillating bass lines (bass wobbles that go “wub wub wub wub wub”), and darker pads atmospherics.   It uses a lot of samples, too, but my tracks lack those.  Check it out.  I hope I’m getting better over time.

Here’s my stuff at www.badraindrop.com

For some truly awesome Dubstep, listen to these amazing tracks by Polish Dubstep artist Blackleg ….

Bad Raindrop – this ad made me feel insignificant and powerless

Got this graphic in an email from BYU.  Right when I read it, I responded viscerally.  I thought, “Well, my individual contribution isn’t going to make a dang bit of difference unless a whole bunch of other people join in.”

The message I want to see is, “Your contribution, however small, will make a big difference.”

While messages like “Together we can make a difference” are sometimes appropriate, you have to be careful not to send the message, “Alone you are nothing.”

People want to feel empowered.  And this ad did just the opposite for me.

Bad raindrop.

 

BabyPreps.com and Co-sleeping with an Infant

A friend of mine recently had a baby and has discovered the joys of co-sleeping.  My wife co-slept with all five of our children.  We loved it.  Below is an excerpt on co-sleeping from a site I set up called BabyPreps.com, a site dedicated to helping moms prepare for their first baby.  The below is an account of my wife’s experience with co-sleeping.

What is has to do with anything this blog normally treats is this – many people find that a newborn brings sleep deprivation and the resulting decline in performance at work and at other responsibilities.  Co-sleeping allows a couple with a newborn to have more restful sleep, leading to less interruption and performance-dropoff in the rest of life.  It also allows one to greater appreciate the joy of having an infant in the home.

Babies often feel very lost in a regular sized crib. Actually, I am the biggest advocate for co-sleeping with one’s baby.  For both my husband and I our absolute, favorite part about having a newborn is having them sleep in our bed with us.  I wouldn’t have thought this before I had children.  But remember the difficult time I had with first and the 8-hour breastfeeding marathon?  Well, my doctor suggested that maybe the baby wasn’t getting enough milk.  (I know crazy and insane, not enough milk?!  Eight hours isn’t enough time to drink every last drop?  I think he was just covering for any potential lawsuits.)  Anyway, he suggested I have a lactation consultant come out to see me.

So I did.  One of the first things she said to me was, “Why on earth did you buy a crib?”  And she was serious.  She went on and on about how healthy co-sleeping was for the baby’s attachment to the mother, how it was natural for the baby to want to stay close at all times to it’s mother, and so on and so forth.  Because of this philosophy, she taught me how to breastfeed lying down on the bed.  I didn’t take her advice.  But a few days later I found myself absolutely exhausted by yet another sleepless night and struggling to get the baby to sleep (this was before I had read any of recommended books about soothing and sleep patterns) and I thought to myself I have got to lay down for a moment. My baby wouldn’t allow a break if she wasn’t right next to me and since I was her human pacifier I decided to try breast-feeding her while lying down…  I woke up two hours later.  I couldn’t believe it.  I hadn’t slept like that since before the baby was born and I looked over on my arm and there was my little sweet-pea curled into me, sleeping just as soundly as I was a moment before.  It was heaven!

From that night on I co-slept with my babies.  It’s not for everyone.  But at least consider it.  Since I started co-sleeping I never have the “sleepless” nights that so many moms have.  On the contrary – I get some real bonding time with my baby and I don’t even have to work at it.  The baby can nurse whenever she needs to.  I just switch sides after a feeding.  I don’t have the baby in the swaddle so she just curls her body into me.  Recently, in fact, I had my hand on my baby’s stomach and she put her arm on top of it and rested her little hand on top of mine.  It was one of those great mom moments!

Co-sleeping is ideal for getting the rest one needs for taking care of kids.  I quit after my babies turn 5 months (because you gotta do it at some point and after 5 months babies are said to form habits) but I swear it is so much harder for me to make the switch than it is for the baby.

A common concern people have with co-sleeping is smothering the baby by rolling on or over her.  This would only alarm me if you were a very, very deep sleeper and have found yourself rolling on top of your dog or husband.  I am always aware of that little baby in my arms even while sleeping and I wouldn’t call myself a light sleeper.  Her head is propped up on the top of my arm like a pillow and I cradle her body with the rest of it.  My husband actually feels more comfortable having the baby in my arms like this because it ensures us that her nose and mouth are high in the air and that she is breathing well.  There is nothing like waking up and seeing this little baby face with her eyes closed, mouth open, and breathing her little heavy breathing.  I have been known to lie still for 45 minutes just to not break that moment.

 

The Art of Apologizing

If there is one behavior that I – and most other people – could improve, it would be an increase in the frequency and sincerity of our apologies.

In any team environment, especially entrepreneurial and start-up environments like the ones I inhabit, there will be friction, differences of opinion, competition, sleep-deprived snark, and just good old-fashioned misunderstandings.

Feelings get hurt, grudges get formed and borne.

When this occurs, the best thing to do is to immediately apologize.  Even if you feel like the other person shares some fault, just apologize.

But an apology must be sincere.  It cannot be an excuse masquerading as contrition.

The best way to apologize is to go to the person privately and ask to speak to them (not email, though if you can’t bring yourself to speak face to face of you are too nervous, email is better than nothing), and say, “I just wanted to apologize to you.  I was wrong to do _(fill in the blank)_ and I’m sorry.  I will try and do better in the future.”

It’s remarkable how well this works to heal the rift.  More often than not, you’ll actually get an apology in return.  People are forgiving and when you go to them, make yourself vulnerable, and acknowledge wrongdoing, it sends a huge message of goodwill.  Most people will feel a tremendous amount of respect for you and actually feel a desire to work harder at the relationship.  They will also be more forgiving of your foibles in the future.

How do I know this?

Because I constantly screw up.

In my line of work, I am trying to build teams of people who work for the common good of all.  When I’m selfish, I undermine that work.  It is a source of sorrow.

Though I keep trying to do better, I learned that apologizing as I go heals rifts, binds me with teammates, and buys me time until I conquer my personal weaknesses.

If we can’t be perfect (and no one can) we can at least try to be perfect apologizers.

12 Books That Help You Win In Business and Life

I read a lot.  At any given time I’m reading between 3 to 20 books.  Below are 12 books that have been particularly vital – even essential – to me as I’ve worked with others to help build our business from just one of many scrapbooking sites on the web, to the largest, most-visited scrapbooking site and store on the internet. I’ve provided a link to them as well as a brief synopsis to help you identify whether you’d be interested.

Disclosure: If you click on any of the books below, then buy it, I get paid a small portion of the sale from Amazon.com.  I’m not trying to sell books, just tell you about them.  But if you do decide this information is valuable to you and do purchase the book from Amazon, I will recieve some modest compensation.

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini

This book contains principles you can apply to influence any person in any situation to influence them (for better or worse). We are all “hard-wired” to respond certain ways to certain techniques. When we’re treated well, we respond. This book shows you how to effect change in your life and in any organization you belong to. It also will help you protect yourself from people who wield this techniques (pandering politicians! dishonest salespeople!) in manipulative ways – you will immediately be able to recognize when others are employing them to take advantage of you.

Influencer: The Power to Change Anything by Kerry Patterson

Just read it. It will blow your mind. Despite the similar titles, this book is very different than the book by Cialdini. This book is the blueprint for how to bring about lasting change. It actually walks you step-by-step through the process to develop your own change program (in business, in your community, etc.), and helps you understand best practices and avoid pitfalls, whereas Cialdini’s book helps you understand human psychology. My #1 read this year. In fact, it’s the reason I founded www.SBABG.org!

The Science of Success: How Market-Based Management Built the World’s Largest Private Company by Charles Koch

A must own for any small-business person. Koch Industries started as a small businesses and is now the second largest privately owned company in the United States. The Chairman, Charles Koch, runs the company based on free-market principles – a system they’ve developed over many years of trial and error which they call “Market Based Management” – and they credit their success to adhering to the system through good times and bad. Bottom line, you do not want to be competing with Koch in any industry, because it will outclass and out-compete you.

Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box by The Arbinger Group

We are our own worst enemies. We seem to have a pathological ability to take relationships of conflict and make them worse through never-ending battles with others that leave them and us worse off. Some companies (and groups, and families) get paralyzed by infighting and contention. This book teaches you how to “get out of the box” and bring an environment to the workplace – or any organization -  that is both peaceful and productive.

The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell

It’s the little things that make all the difference in our lives, and in our businesses. It is awareness of, and attention to, these things that will often determine whether we experience success or failure. This book explains how to identify those little things that make a big different.  By small and simple things great things come to pass. Don’t think that big results need come from big effort. Big results come from the right effort at the right time.

The Breakthrough Imperative: How the Best Managers Get Outstanding Results by Mark Gottfredson

Learn what competitive dangers await every business, and how you can prepare and overcome these dangers.

Value Investing: From Graham to Buffett and Beyond by Bruce Greenwald

Business people need to understand the value of the assets and businesses they own, work with, and purchase. This book teaches business valuation better than any of the formal textbooks I have read on the subject, and does so in a radically more simple way by applying timeless techniques first established by Benjamin Graham, who was Warren Buffett’s mentor (and we all know how that worked out for Buffett.)

Competition Demystified: A Radically Simplified Approach to Business Strategy by Bruce Greenwald

Written by the same author as the book above, this changed the way I approached building a business. Many business people learn Porter’s Five Competitive Forces and derive strategy from analysis of such; this book radically simplifies Porter’s work (in my opinion) and is more useful to small-businesses looking to grow.

Cable Cowboy: John Malone and the Rise of the Modern Cable Business by Mark Robichaux

John Malone was a brilliant man, building a bleeding-edge business on the frontiers of America, outfoxing the governmental forces-that-be every step of the way. A great story of risk, opportunity, and what can happen when a person chooses to see the world differently than everyone else and stick with that vision. Particularly fascinating are the chapters that discuss the acquisition strategies, employment of debt, accelerated depreciation strategies, and wars with banks and bankers that couldn’t seem to see the value Malone was building right before their eyes (and so distrusted and fought him every step of the way). If you’ve ever spent a sleepless night because you’re warding off creditors while you’re building a businesses, know you’re in good company – Malone spent more than a decade fighting with them and he turned out OK!

The Ultimate Question: Driving Good Profits and True Growth by Fred Reichheld

Contains and immediate, practical strategy that you can use in your business today to make sure that your customers are not only happy with you, but turn into promoters for your business. To repeat a phrase I used above,  by small and simple things great things come to pass.  In this book, you’ll learn one of those small and simple things you can do to make great things come to pass in your business.

Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game by Michael Lewis

If you want an edge, you can’t play the game the same way as others. To play the game differently, measure things differently. This page-turning story shows how Billy Beane, the general manager of the A’s, used his relatively paltry $41M payroll and unique measuring system to identify overlooked players and assemble teams that routinely beat other teams that employed $100M+ in payroll and bought up the “obvious” talent. Small businesses everywhere can learn from this story and uses it’s principles to slay the Goliaths they go up against each day.

Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert.

Be a Happy Warrior.  Lots of studies about what makes people unhappy or happy find that our brains constantly trick us into making decision we think will make us happy but have the adverse effect.  The cure to this “blindness” is provided in this fantastic book.  Look at people who are happy, who have died happy, and do what they were doing when they were your age.  Hint: It’s kind of commonsensical – work hard at something you love, stay married through good times and bad, don’t do drugs and all that.  All that stuff that sounds great but is actually “hard” at times and which your brains sometimes tries to tell you won’t make you happy.  Happiness is not pleasure seeking.  And pleasure seeking does not equate to happiness, especially long term.  You will have a happy life if you stick to the principles of living that lead to long-term happiness, and that’s the surprise. Doing the stuff your brain often tell you wouldn’t make you happy, does.


Mind Sparke Brain Fitness Pro: Raise your IQ and improve your memory

Disclosure: The below is a sincere and unsolicited infomercial about a product that I used and loved.  I contacted the creator of it who told me he had a program that if I linked the program and someone bought it he’d share a % of the sale with me.

A few months ago, I set a goal to memorize 200 scriptures.  It was slow going and I realized that at the rate I was learning, I’d be working at it for years.

Memorization does not come easy to me.  In fact, it’s the opposite.  I have a very hard time memorizing and recalling words and phrases.

I knew I needed a tool that would help me improve my memorization skills, and so I began looking at all products on the market that claim to improve memorization and increase intelligence.

My search ended when I found Mind Sparke Brain Fitness Pro, a computer based game that actually changes the way your brain is wired. It reshapes the way your brain pathways work so that you are more intelligent.

When I started using Brain Fitness Pro the results were so dramatic, that I felt difference almost immediately. I experienced my brain being more alert, capturing more information.

The program is grounded in science and proven to be effective.

It works your sight, touch and sound in a way that stimulates the growth of new brain cells.  This results in strengthening working memory, problem-solving ability, and concentration.

In particular, the training helps users achieve:

  • Self-Improvement And Occupational Success
  • Academic Success
  • Mental Health And Well-Being
  • Musical Aptitude And Appreciation

It takes less than a half an hour per day, it’s fun and – in my my experience – the gains are immediate and  lasting.

Best of all, it cost me only $46.95.  I own it forever and can use it anytime I want to improve my mind.  Best money I’ve spent this year!

Learn more or buy it buy it now. The even have a program for kids!

Why do we do what we do?

One day in 1996, I sat in a sweaty little chapel in Argentina, where a remarkable man stood in front of a small group of volunteers and said that the most important question we could ask ourselves each day is:

“Porque hago lo que hago?”

Why do I do what I do?

I have asked and answered that question every day for the last thirteen years, and the answers – when I’m being honest with myself – have been revealing.  At times, painfully so.

Understanding why we do what we do is essential if we want to improve our performance and productivity in life.  In fact, in doing so we often discover that our beliefs and understanding about ourselves is limiting our potential.

My effort to understand why I do what I do eventually led me to a remarkable book – an 885 page book! – written by one of history’s most remarkable and underrated thinkers, the Austrian Economist Ludwig von Mises.  The book is titled Human Action (at the link you can read the book free online in html or .pdf form).

In essence, Mises asked the question, why do people do what they do?  Why do human beings take action at all?

Mises is not a psychologist.  He is an economist.  His interest fixates on why people take the actions they take.  He wants to understand and explain why human beings trade with each other, work, make efforts to better their lives and make judgments about which actions will give them desired results.  In order to explain human action, he postulates that we have to look at the kind of beings we are and what it is that gets us to act.

Misesstatement on this point is concise, insightful, and full of pregnant potential for discussion.

“Acting man is eager to substitute a more satisfactory state of affairs for a less satisfactory. His mind imagines conditions which suit him better, and his action aims at bringing about this desired state. The incentive that impels a man to act is always some uneasiness.” (13)

The incentive that impels a person to act is always some uneasiness, or, in other words, a “felt unease”.

Mises postulates that three conditions must hold to make a person act:

1. a felt uneasiness
2. the image of a more satisfactory state
3. the expectation that purposeful behavior has the power to remove (or at least to alleviate) the felt uneasiness

We can also anticipate the onset of a felt unease if we don’t take an action now.  So we have a “mental state of uneasiness” rather than a physical one.  For example, through experience I might know that if I don’t eat lunch I will get a headache.  If I miss lunch and get a headache, I feel unease, and I know I will continue to feel it until I eat.  However, this knowledge – that I will get a headache if I don’t eat lunch – creates a mental unease as I approach lunch, a “nagging” knowledge that I had better eat (take action) or else I will feel a further, additional unease (this one in my body).

This morning I woke up with a back spasm.  It got worse once I arrived at my office.  I felt pain (a felt unease).  I had a desire to remove this felt unease and had an image of a more satisfactory state, one in which I did not feel pain.  I concluded that if I took some ibuprofen my back pain would cease, or at least my felt unease would be lessened.  I also knew that if I failed to take action my condition would worsen, and I felt unease about this knowledge as well (an anticipation of additional unease).  So I had an expectation that there was a purposeful behavior I could take to fulfill my desire to remove the felt unease and to prevent future unease.

Because of these three conditions, I opened my drawer, took out a couple of Advils, filled a glass with water, and swallowed the pills.  All of those actions occurred as the result of the three conditions holding.

As I think about my actions throughout the day, I’ll see that most every action I take is either a somewhat passive response to a felt-unease that has come upon me, or a pro-active response to prevent a felt unease from coming upon me.

Think about some of the actions we take, and why we do it.

Paying taxes.
Feeding our children.
Servicing our debts.
Exercising.
Telling our spouse that we love her/him.
Putting antiseptic on a cut.
Filling our car with gas and changing our oil.
Going to a movie.
Donating to charity.

As you take actions today (and everyday), ask yourself how your actions might result from the three aforementioned conditions being met.

In future posts I’ll further discuss the type of beings we are – beings whose feelings provide feedback which signal us to act.  We’ll discuss why pain is a gift.  And we’ll discuss how we identify ends and employ means to achieve them.

But for today, let’s just ask ourselves,

“Porque hago lo que hago?  Why do I do what I do?”

Why do you do what you do?  Does thinking about this and applying Mises model help you better understand yourself?

Remember that every time you have a desire to get better at something, or every time you make judgments about what has value for you, you are likely experiencing some form of “felt unease” that you are trying to alleviate.

How to Get Better at Anything

This post could be sub-titled “how to construct a practice” since practice is primarily the way you get better at anything.

But before we delve into how to construct a practice, let’s answer the question:

Why do we practice?

First of all, practice is preparation for something – some activity, action, or event.  We practice so that we have peak performance when we execute that action.

All practice has its eye on that event which it seeks to enhance.

When thinking about getting better at some event, it often helps us think about how to improve at that event by calling it a “game”.  One of the most helpful aspects of reducing all events we wish to improve at to “games” is that it removes pressure and adds and element of fun to practice.

So, think of anything you want to improve as a game.  A business presentation is a game.  The relationship with a child, spouse, co-worker could be considered a game.  Your appointment with a used car salesman.  And on and on and on.  For any event with is a game, your preparation for the event is “practice”.

Here is a deceptively simple statment that you must always keep in mind when constructing a practice.  It is the key principle to getting better at anything.  If you forget it, your practices will not lead to optimum performance in your games.

The phrase is not “Practice makes perfect.”  Practice doesn’t make perfect and never will.  Perfection is an illusion and the constant focus on perfection frequently leads to “paralysis by analysis”.  And the phrase is not its pernicious step-sister “Perfect practice makes perfect,” . One shouldn’t pursue perfection in practice, one should be making perfection harder, if not impossible, in practice, so that performance in “gams” is as high as possible.

So, you should forget that you ever heard the phrases “Practice makes perfect” or “Perfect practice makes perfect.”   Erase them from your mind forever.  Replace it with this one.

Practice exists to make games easy.

Practice  doesn’t exist to merely “get ready for the game”.  It doesn’t exist to “put you in an ideal mental state for the game.”  It doesn’t exist to “make the game less hard.”  Those are all consequences or byproducts of correct practice, but they’re not the objective.

Practice exists to make the game EASY.

Easy.

When you practice right, it means that when you’re playing the game, giving your business presentation, making the pitch, shooting the free throw, swinging the bat, the game is easy.  Success comes.

So practices have to be designed in a way that the end result is that they make the game EASY.

Most of your practice time should emulate and maginify the challenges inherent in the game.  Not just emulate challenging conditions.  Magnify.  Practice MUST magnify those challenges and oppositions.

This is simple to do.

Take what needs to be done in the game, and make it harder.  A lot harder.

To illustrate, I’ll use a few example from my favorite game – basketball.  I’ll skip some of the individual skill building things that can be done (more on some of those below from one of the best individual skills coaches around), and instead focus on how to optimize practice for a team.

In basketball, teams usually practice five-against-five, because that is how the game is played.  But to make the game easy, make the practice hard.  Practice four-on-five or five-on-six, depending on what team-skills you’re trying to improve.

For example, when practicing offensive sets, the offense can play against six men (or more) so that that defense is 20% stronger than in a game situation.  Alternatively, you can have the offense or play with four men against five (so that the defense is 25% stronger and the offense has 20% less “weapons” to attack the defense with).

When practicing defense, do the opposite.  The offense either plays with six men against five defensive players, or the defense plays with four!

You can do this in football, baseball, soccer, etc.  Players are forced to exert themselves and play more precisely and focused against steeper odds.

When you then revert to “game state” (i.e. five-on-five in basketball), the game seems much easier.  Opportunities are more abundant.  Space to operate is greater.  Options increase.  The strength you gained while fighting a stronger enemy is now employed against a weaker opponent.

So, if you  always make the resistance higher than what will be in the game, the game will be easy.

One other way to challenge yourself in practice is through the systematic removal of assets that will be at your disposal when you play the game.

If you are going to speak in public and will have notes you can refer to, but want to give a great speech that connects, practice without your notes, try to memorize it.  Practice as if you will have to give the speech from memory.  When it comes time to give the speech and you can reference your notes, you will find that your performance will be much stronger than if you had permitted yourself to practice with the notes.

So as you’re practicing, set rules that take away assets you’ll have at your disposal when you play the game.

Back to basketball.  You might tell your players that for an entire game they must play without ever dribbling the ball.  If they dribble, it’s a turnover and the other team gets the ball.  Your team will become much better passers and during the game, when they’re allowed the option to dribble, will find the game much easier than the passing only version.

You can repeat this a number of ways.
- No shots other than layups
- No three point shots allowed
- No shots other than WIDE OPEN three pointers
- Twenty passes before shooting
- Two passes only before shooting
- No shooting with the right hand

In addition, speed up the pace and duration of the practice so that it exceeds the game.

If you’re rehearsing for a piano piece that is technically difficult, learn the song at a metronome speed 10-15% faster than the paying speed.  One you’re proficient at that speed, slow it down to the desired speed and it will seem easy to play.

In basketball, make players run longer and harder and with less breaks (and no stopping for free throws and dead balls).

Play loud music, blaring recorded applause, etc. during the practice that exeeds the loudness of the gym when it’s full so that the players ahve to learn to communicate over and through noise that will be louder than anything they’ll experience in a real game.

Young guys often get nervous playing in front of crowd, and espeically in front of girl’s they’re trying to impress.  convince come of the girls to come and watch the practices and comment loudly on the boys’ performances. . .  this helps them learn to play with the pressure of “eyeballs they’re trying to impress” on them.

Play with a heavier ball on passing drills.  Shoot on a smaller hoop.  After a warm-up to get “centered” on their shot (like you would in pre-game warmups) NEVER let your players shoot in any way that doesn’t replicate a game situation, i.e. shoot seldom, not “premeditated,” at full-speed, with a defender on your or in the vicinity, and without rest between shots.  (For more on this, check out the story of Ivan Radin, the NBA’s most sought after skills coach who employs all of these methods with his clients.)

I’m just coming up with ideas off the top of my head, but you get the point . . . you can do this with anything

The bottom line is, make practice harder than the performance, and the performance will seem a breeze . . .

So how about you?  In what ways do you prepare/practice to ensure you have peak performance in your “games”?